My future husband

It is a running joke that every man with whom I am even remotely linked to romantically is “my future husband.” Maybe it is because my dating life has been so underwhelming. Maybe it is ironic because I don’t really see myself as the marrying type.

S and her boyfriend D have been trying to set me up with his friend R. D and R are close friends who met in college. They are about as close as guys can be without being best friends. So contact between them is pretty minimal, an errant e-mail once or twice a month.

For the past 7 months, D told me that he thought he and his friend R would be a great match. 1) R is Korean/American. 2) Is not a traditional Korean. 3) Is on the prowl for a Korean/American girlfriend. 4) Is a workaholic and wants to be with someone who is not needy. 5) We have the same last name.

Well, that was fine and dandy, but what was in it for me? 1) He is 5’11. 2) He makes bank at Goldman Sachs. 3) He is a nice guy.

Normally, I would be skeptical about this set-up, especially because white people sometimes generalize (like I am doing right now) and assume that two Koreans will get along automatically. But I trust D, so I hoped for the best.

R lives in NYC and with his busy schedule, has had to cancel on a few of his visits to Boston. D and I had a running joke, “where is my future husband, D?” To which he would always answer, “I’m working on it, Evil Twin #1, I’m workin’ on it.”

So this weekend, R was scheduled to come to Boston. He would fly in and leave the next morning. D made reservations at the Union Oyster House for us, though we were not sure if R would show up. As it turns out, his plane was delayed due to the rain, but because he had promised to come he ended up buying another ticket on a different shuttle and arriving at Logan an hour late.

Five of us ate dinner, S, D, R, J (D’s and R’s college friend), and I. The boys sat at one end of the table and talked about the good old days, who was doing what now, and the latest business news. S and I gossiped about school. So far he was not the man of my dreams. He seemed a little stodgy, a little entrenched in the NYC rat race, a little status obsessed, a little old for just being 31.

After dinner, J went home and the four of us roamed around downtown looking for a quiet bar to talk. The Red Hat is a dive in Beacon Hill. Bruce Hornsby piped through the jukebox. It was well lit with overhead lights covered in green “Rolling Rock” emblems. The floor was a little sticky and before the night was over I killed a bug on the wood panel next to my seat.

We ordered drinks. I ordered a Bud light, D ordered a Sam Adams, S ordered a vodka gimlet, and R attempted to order a Blue Moon with an orange. He got a regular Blue Moon. Besides that it was a pleasant night. The four of us talked until 1 in the morning. He is a nice guy. He and I had a lot more in common than just being Korean Americans. He was from Chicago. He had lived in Japan for 3 years and gave me interesting travel tips. He golfs. But overall, no sparks. <>

Today, I got this following email from S:
don't give up on R yet. he was telling D he liked you, thought you were cute and "had a nice body." i think there may be potential! i think he just needs to open up a bit. D said he would take you out in nyc if you ever went there and he's interviewing for a position in providence......

It made me laugh. 1) Because I was wearing 3 layers of clothing on top that night because it was cold, so the twins were not out in force. He must be a butt man. 2) That S is looking out for me and thinking Providence might work out, but NYC is bad for the long term. 3) I thought of something R said that night. “When we get married, I’ll let you keep your last name.” Look at that, my future husband tried to crack a joke.