Diseased

I think the diseases that I get are completely reflective of who I am. No, I am not riddled with VDs. Quite the opposite. This week’s ailment is conjunctivitis, pink eye. It is the disease that you get from water parks in the summer, the oozing eyes of kindergartners, and apparently walking around in molecular biology labs. I have to say that it is disturbing to see my reflection in the morning with my left eye encrusted with yellow goo. Not to worry it is viral, a product of a cold gone awry.

My one eyed self called my sister for a little of sisterly pity (normally, I would call my mother but she is still in Korea.) “Hey, there was an outbreak of pinkeye at N’s daycare.” Yes, me and the 2 year old share diseases cross country.

But it made me think. I remembered getting the chicken pox during Thanksgiving vacation senior year of college. I was quarantined in my dorm room, except to go to the pharmacy. Unfortunately, the medication used to treat chicken pox is the same medication used to treat genital herpes. So I am sure when the pharmacist saw a twenty-one year old coed go trying to fill this medication….. The worst part is that our health insurance was so poor that I had to by the generic version of the drug. I could not take the drug that had me swinging off a tree in a field of daisies. No, mine was the kind you got at the free clinic in the middle of ghetto.

A few years ago, I got an ear infection that prevented me from flying. Otitis media is normally reserved for babies, because they need to grow to have their heads to drain fluid properly. Or you could be a 28 year old female with a head cold.

When I went to the doctor’s office on Friday, I could not help but wonder if all of these childhood ailments are a reflection of my maturity level. What do you think is next? I kind of am hoping for boy cooties.