In modern urban society, good manners and friendliness has been overtaken by the individuals need for private space. With the invention of the "Walkman" and the subsequent derivations of it, this space between people has become one more of lack of acknowledgement rather than just elbow room. This attitude is both generational and cultural. It is ever apparent in the Northeast, especially in cities like, New York, Boston, and Washington. And I fear it is spreading.
On Saturday, J and I went running together. J is from Minnesota. So like all good Midwestern boys, he is admittedly overly friendly at times. (That is of course unless you meet him in under compromising circumstances like Evil Twin #2 did.) Part of running etiquette is to acknowledge other runners. I normally opt for the smile and the head nod. However, J goes for the full on wave. The only people who waved back were both elderly gentlemen. From the yuppies pushing a running stroller, we got a nasty glare and a move to the other side of the path. Of course, it is possible that they were just racist. While snubs to J's waving hand are little more apparent, I realized that as the weather is getting nicer and more people are out, there are less people smiling and nodding back at me. J thought it was weird because back in Minnesota, he says hi to anyone on he sees on the sidewalk. But then again Minnesota is still stuck in a time warp. It kind of like that South Park episode where the Stan and Kyle find a man who had been frozen for three years. The man is so disoriented in this new time they sent him to Iowa, where they were three years behind the rest of the world.
The next day on the train, I was sitting down spacing out as usual. When we got to the Kenmore stop, I saw a middle aged lady get on board. She had dyed short red hair, gold glasses, and an oversized shirt maroon shirt with gold weaving. Since she was holding the pole next to my seat, I asked if she would like to sit. She looked at me in disgust and said "I'm fine." She moved to the back of the car. My manners had insulted her vanity. As I looked around the train, I realized lots of old people were standing. Teenagers listening with white earbuds, were slouched on chairs moving their heads in circles. I wondered if it was a chicken and egg thing. Were the kids rude first and convinced the adults that they only got up for old people or was it the adults wanting to feel young making sure the young people sat?
All of it kind of makes me want to move to Minneapolis except I heard the take out sucks.
2 comments:
When driving in Western Kansas where it might be miles and miles (and sometimes hours and hours!) before you see another driver, the courtesy is always to give a full on wave when you do pass a driver. I commend you offering your seat on the train as well. I've sometimes been standing and seen elderly people or pregnant women standing when there a young, able people who neglect to offer a seat.
i never acknowledge other runners, unless they are much slower than me. in which case, i yell out "slow poke!" and then i laugh at them. sometimes, i will throw in a "you're ugly, too" but only when i'm feeling grouchy
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