Evil twin #1 and Evil twin #2 met in their freshman year dormitory. Although they were seemingly polar opposites, they discovered they were kindred spirits, sharing a passion for short-lived television shows and board games. Now older, perhaps a little less impulsive and most importantly geographically split up, they have attempted to put aside their evil ways. But when they do get together....
It enrages me. It actually makes my blood boil. Let me say that I have nothing against staying at home and taking care of children. But these girls are ridiculous. 1) if they know they want to be a housewife why pursue an advanced professional degree. That action is a waste of resources, taking the education away from someone who will make the most of it. Careers are not something to play around with because you are bored. 2) How disrepectful are they to the generation of women who fought so hard to get an equal footing in the working society? The notion that they are pragmatist is false. They are spoiled brats assuming that they will even find someone to take care of them financially. Its like a bad flashback to the 50's when a woman only went to college to find a well educated man. 3)They are leaders. Leading woman backwards. Fathers have recently been taking a bigger role in everyday child rearing and these girls are sending a clear message that this trend need not continue. As an ivy league woman, I have to say, "What a shame on all fronts."
I read this also and felt conflicted. On the one hand, every woman should have the right to an education and to raise a family in the way she chooses. But for all the strides women have made in the past 30 years, we still struggle-- for equal jobs, equal pay and equal respect. My face burned when the young man said staying at home to raise the children was "sexy".
The thing that got to me about the article was the implicit acceptance of gender roles. It seemed evident to these girls that the woman stays at home and the man earns the money. The struggle for us is to shift the debate to the point where the couple decides how to best raise a child, as a team. It may mean that traditional roles are followed depending on the relative career paths or the inclinations of the partners. However, i want room to feel like all combinations are available to my partner and I -part time work, full time work, no work, nanny, day care, boarding school (just kidding - though this is the UK). I guess I want options. These girls don't want them - they have made up their mind already!
Isa, I think you've put your finger on what bothered me most about the article. These women don't seem to be considering all of their options. It's one thing to decide to be a full time mom after trying to "have it all" and another to think that the only way to be a good parent is to give up a career that you've never even tried to have. I don't think that women in their early twenties have enough life experience to make an informed decision. Sad to think that they have decided such an important issue without really exploring everything out there.
i'm not sure if they "decided" on the issue yet. i mean -- i've changed so much since my college years. as they start working and experience life they'll probably think more about their "decision."
i don't doubt that to raise children that parents do have to sacrifice, whether it's the mother or the father. and if these girls don't mind giving up their career, there's nothing wrong with that decision. the thing i was frustrated with was the comment by the mom that she doesn't understand how moms can work and not stay at home with their kids. no woman should judge another woman in their decision to pursue their career and to raise children; some women can't help but work due to financial circumstance.
I have to admit I'm guilty of judging women for pursuing their careers while leaving children at home. But now that I'm married and thinking about having children and the consequences of pursuing my career, I admire women who can balance both.
6 comments:
It enrages me. It actually makes my blood boil. Let me say that I have nothing against staying at home and taking care of children. But these girls are ridiculous. 1) if they know they want to be a housewife why pursue an advanced professional degree. That action is a waste of resources, taking the education away from someone who will make the most of it. Careers are not something to play around with because you are bored. 2) How disrepectful are they to the generation of women who fought so hard to get an equal footing in the working society? The notion that they are pragmatist is false. They are spoiled brats assuming that they will even find someone to take care of them financially. Its like a bad flashback to the 50's when a woman only went to college to find a well educated man. 3)They are leaders. Leading woman backwards. Fathers have recently been taking a bigger role in everyday child rearing and these girls are sending a clear message that this trend need not continue.
As an ivy league woman, I have to say, "What a shame on all fronts."
I read this also and felt conflicted. On the one hand, every woman should have the right to an education and to raise a family in the way she chooses. But for all the strides women have made in the past 30 years, we still struggle-- for equal jobs, equal pay and equal respect. My face burned when the young man said staying at home to raise the children was "sexy".
Have you ever loved someone so much that it hurt to be away from them... if even for a minute? That's how I feel about Evil Twin.
The thing that got to me about the article was the implicit acceptance of gender roles. It seemed evident to these girls that the woman stays at home and the man earns the money. The struggle for us is to shift the debate to the point where the couple decides how to best raise a child, as a team. It may mean that traditional roles are followed depending on the relative career paths or the inclinations of the partners. However, i want room to feel like all combinations are available to my partner and I -part time work, full time work, no work, nanny, day care, boarding school (just kidding - though this is the UK). I guess I want options. These girls don't want them - they have made up their mind already!
Isa, I think you've put your finger on what bothered me most about the article. These women don't seem to be considering all of their options. It's one thing to decide to be a full time mom after trying to "have it all" and another to think that the only way to be a good parent is to give up a career that you've never even tried to have. I don't think that women in their early twenties have enough life experience to make an informed decision. Sad to think that they have decided such an important issue without really exploring everything out there.
i'm not sure if they "decided" on the issue yet. i mean -- i've changed so much since my college years. as they start working and experience life they'll probably think more about their "decision."
i don't doubt that to raise children that parents do have to sacrifice, whether it's the mother or the father. and if these girls don't mind giving up their career, there's nothing wrong with that decision. the thing i was frustrated with was the comment by the mom that she doesn't understand how moms can work and not stay at home with their kids. no woman should judge another woman in their decision to pursue their career and to raise children; some women can't help but work due to financial circumstance.
I have to admit I'm guilty of judging women for pursuing their careers while leaving children at home. But now that I'm married and thinking about having children and the consequences of pursuing my career, I admire women who can balance both.
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