Elena Kagan, Janet Reno, and me

In her bright royal blue suit, coiffed short hair, and bright coral lipstick, Elena Kagan is testifying in front of a Senate committee. Her even tone is only imagined, as I read the live blogging notes on cnn.com.

I have little patience for all of this information, I will read summary later tonight. And like all things on this blog, this post really is not about her, it is about me.

A few weeks ago, after the nomination Elena Kagan's sexuality was brought into question. She is a woman in her 50s, never been married. The pundits said it was important to know, because it is directly related to her opinions about the current "don't ask, don't tell" policy. Really? Whatever, this post is not about the ridiculous nature of many political pundits.

All of this talk about Kagan's sexual orientation, made me flashback to an interview with Janet Reno. Janet Reno was also wearing a royal blue suit jacket at the time. But the part that struck me was her stating how she loved men but it was hard to find a date. There was a sadness in her eyes as if she had answered this very question a million times before.

What is Kagan supposed to do? There is no good recourse for her.

I think about these things, because I see it happening to me more and more often. I went to go visit a friend's parents this weekend. They are awesome, but their first question was "are you seeing anyone?" No one, except my father, has designated me to being a lesbian yet, but I cannot imagine those are not far behind.

In fact, it is the first question I often get from most people I meet. Even my closest friends, seem to always try to push me towards this coupledom. And I always feel prickly when responding. Part of me feels as if I have let people down. Part of me is weary from answering the question so many times. Part of me wants to have to justify my life decisions. Part of me wants to tell them about my brushes with heartache. Part of me wants to show them all the other things I have accomplished without a man. But all that would be too much to unleash on someone. So I answer, like always do, "maybe one day."

But I think about Janet Reno and Elena Kagan. Here are two women who accomplished so much more than I have or will, but still that is the first question that they got. I wonder at the age of 50 if it is just as tiresome as it is at 34.