Thursday, March 26, 2009

I need a vacation

I am horrible at posting things in a timely fashion. The BF and I went on a lovely extended weekend trip to Paris over President's Day weekend. This is Part One of the post, as some interesting things happened before we even got to our destination.

The younger sister of one of my good college friends was staying with me. This is relevant because I had to figure out how to get my keys from her since she would be staying at my place and leaving before BF and I returned from Paris. I had forgotten that my front door should not be set to lock automatically when you shut it -- the reason being that if you are inside the apartment, then you get LOCKED INSIDE and CANNOT GET OUT.

BF and I were heading to the airport straight from work. I only realized that we were locked in before we were about to leave for work. I tried the turning the knob, but the door was stuck. I tried turning and pulling on the knob several more times, I tried using a credit card, then a knife to pry the lock open. Nothing was working. BF was about to try "brute force" but I was afraid that my doorknob would fall off completely. Then I had a MacGuyver moment. Going out the fire escape, re-entering my building and opening the door from the outside was my only option.

I took off my suit jacket and climbed out my kitchen window onto my fire escape. My co-op board recently hit us with a major assessment to "replace the roof and upgrade the fire escapes". I used to resent having to pay an extra $200/month this year, but now I have first-hand knowledge of why they need to upgrade the fire escapes. They are extremely rusty and look like they are about to dislodge from my building's facade. Board, you are more than welcome to my $200/month.

I live on the 3rd floor of my building and had to climb down one level of the fire escape before I got to the ladder which is supposed to slide down so that you don't have to jump 15 feet to hit the ground. It was rusted solid. I tried pushing on it, but then the entire fire escape started creaking and moving so I stopped. BF was encouraging me to jump, but I was afraid that I'd land wrong and that I'd spend the next 4 days hobbling around the streets of Paris.

Instead, I assessed my options. I could try to hang off the fire escape and lessen the jump by about 5 feet. Or, I could try to reach the hopefully open hallway window by shimmying along a ledge. I opted for the latter of the two options. This wasn't that far, maybe 2 or 3 feet, but it felt like a lot more. Thankfully, the window wasn't latched shut. I was able to cling to the window frame with one hand while pushing the window open about 8 or 10 inches with the other. Thanks to lots of yoga and pilates lately, I was able to get one leg up and through the window without losing my balance and cracking my head open on the pavement below. I managed to squeeze through the window (it's an awning window with a hinge on the top that allows the window to swing in towards you if you are opening it) and without ruining my work clothes! I sprinted up the stairs to my apartment, opened the door, was a bit winded, but thrilled that I had figured out a way to get the door open. Then I heard the door slam behind me. And I had to do it all over again. Doh!

On the upside, the second time around took far less time than the first. BF was none to happy when I told him that we were locked in. Again. I told him that he was welcome to climb out the window onto my disintegrating fire escape and squeeze himself through the neighboring window. Then he was quiet.

So, that's the story of the time leading up to my vacation. I'll blog about the actual vacation (with pictures!) separately.

7 comments:

Sparks said...

Wow! That's a great story.

Isabelle said...

very impressive!

Evil said...

very impressive indeed, et#2! good going.

on the other hand, you know what's NOT impressive? your inability to post in a timely manner. your fans demand more timely posts! Cmon, people!

also, it's mind blowing that sparks and killerb are now on the evil twins blog and here.to.here. our three blogs are now like BFFs.

And said...

I'm all LOL!!!!

Xtian said...

You know what the downside of dating a blogger is? Getting blown on the blog...hahah

Toughen up, BF!

Nora said...

Damn this is funny. You go girl.

Evil said...

what does getting "blown" on the blog mean? and isnt getting blown usually a good thing? i dont understand xtian's comment.