Why my breakfast made me sad

I'll admit that I have been in sort of a self pity funk. I defended my Ph.D. and my lab is moving to Texas. And like at the end of all eras in my life, instead of rejoicing, I waste my time reflecting, self flagulating, worrying, and over analyzing my life. Instead of doing a little jig on the fact that I am finally done being a student (after 23 years including kindergarten), I spend a lot of time thinking about my single status. I get the idea that I single out of choice, but can't rid myslef of those romantic notions that my life would be a million times better with a good guy by my side. Maybe some of this is brought on by the high alcohol consumption as of late, or maybe it is all of a sudden I have way too much time on my hands.

I made a list of all the things that would be better if I were a double not a single. My room would be neater, I would shower more regularly, I'd have a reason to reactivate text messaging on my phone, I'd eat better, I'd be forced to be less self involved, I'd have someone to talk to incessantly on my cell phone etc..

I am eating breakfast this morning and I come across this list. My breakfast consists of a fried egg, the last matzoh, a mug of tea, a glass of milk, and half a bag of Trader Joe's cheese puffs. See - I thought, I'd eat something more conventional if someone was with me. But then I realized, I could eat something conventional now without anyone convincing me it would be a good idea. I was just too lazy to make the changes in my life myself. So my breakfast has sent me a down a shame spiral from my self pity funk. Sigh. Is there no end to this nonsense?