Who's sitting at the cool table?

"High school never ends." - Bowling for Soup

No post last week. I was at the International MDM2 Workshop. The workshop was held at the Woodshole Marine Laboratories, conference center/dormitory/cheap meeting place facility. V and I drove down to the picturesque Cape Cod locale early Sunday afternoon. We walked up the three flights of stairs with our luggage. Although in spartan conditions, we were pleasantly surprised that we had a bathroom in our room and no need for our shower slippers and travel shower caddies.

The keynote talks began in the nearby auditorium. We dutifully pinned on our name badges and trudged over to the lecture hall. The hard wooden chairs were aesthetically pleasing, but would eventually wear away at our tailbones after many torturous hours. The organizers welcomed all, and the keynote speeches were thoughtful and fairly long. At 7:45pm, it was clear everyone was hungry as all 80 scientists trundled over to the dining hall.

In traditional dining hall fashion, we waited in line with our plastic trays for our two hot entrees and salad bar selections. But it was not the selection of food that was an issue, it was the selection of the table. With whom were we going to sit? In a room of 80 scientists, what table was the cool table? I stood outside with my tray in awe of my indecision. I waited for V to come out, this selection was going to require consultation. Many of these people already new each other. I kept scanning the room, lively talk at some, quiet loners at others. Yikes! Wait breathe. I am 31 right? But what if we get stuck at a weird table and we are forever marked?

Finally, V came out and we chose a table with two lonely looking Chinese people. They were pleasant enough and being there alone too.

After dinner, we had drinks. With my plastic Solo cup of Harpoon IPA in hand, I scanned the room again. In the corner by the window, was GL's lab. They chose to spend the whole apart from everyone else, I marked them as the "Artiste" group, too cool school. In the center, was the 4 Chinese professors and 1 old Jewish professor laughing and slapping each other on their back, from now to known as the "Chinese Mafia." At another table were the "Hens," 4 female students in CP's lab. more to come on them later. There were older well established professors milling around catching up with each other, flitting from group to group, they were the "Jocks" the cool ones whose attention was parsed out like gifts. And then was everyone else, like us, who wanted to get through this event unnoticed, unwedgied, and unscathed.

The next day was brutal. Breakfast started at 7:30am. Another dining hall panic attack. Luckily, V had attended this meeting two years ago and still had few friends left over, we sat with them. Then it was off to 5 hours of lectures. My head swam from all the talks. Another dining hall incident and another 4 hours of talks. It was brutal. By the time dinner came along, it was such a relief. We sat with one postdoc and one student from Canada. They were warm and funny. Probably, the least nerdy and pretentious people at the meeting. It was nice to talk to people our age for a change.

More drinks that night, and a poster session. V and I split apart for awhile looking at different work. We schmoozed a little. I tried to ask an "Artiste" about her project only to get shut out for a professor. The nice dutch professor (one of the Jocks) , who knows my boss, gave me a small apologetic smile for the woman's behavior and said "I don't this poster is worth you time."

But for the most part people were more accommodating. We chatted and got a few insincere job offers. But a few hours in, we were extremely exhausted. V and I met up at a couch. We drank our free booze out of our plastic Solo cups. On the couch, we watched the different groups interact. I began to hate the "Hens." Led by an evil Russian girl, they embodied every bad stereotype of a woman. They only talked to the Jocks, completely ignored all others, and gossipped amongst themselves.

More lectures the next morning, and then a scheduled trip to Martha's Vineyard. This time for lunch at the dining hall, we ate with GW, big wig professor, who admittedly wanted to collaborate on a project with our lab, but it was nice to get invited to a table.

Once again we had another poster session, this time V had to present, leaving me to fend for myself. In the sea of Hens, Artistes, and Jocks, would I survive? Without even knowing it, in our brief time there, we had made friends. There were V's old friends from Scotland. There was Dieter 2, a German scientist that resembled his Sprockets counterpart. There were older Chinese professors. There were students, to whom we gave advice the night before.

Just like in high school, I had been overly dramatic. Why was I ever worried? Why did I care the first night? But this revelation did not stop me from scanning the room. I could help but be fascinated by the group dynamics in the room. Maybe it is true: high school never ends.