Letting the crazy out

Television. You can learn so many things from it. For instance, to this day I remember the path of the circulatory system, from when Patsi had to learn it by song for his college anatomy class in "Happy Days." Or that amphetamines are addictive and smart people are suceptible to taking them. Think Alex from "Familiy Ties" or Jesse from "Saved by the Bell."

On an episode of "Scrubs," Carla, the sassy nurse, when giving advice on love, tells the young doctors that they need to hide the crazy. What fantastic advice! But the real question is when can you let the crazy out?

Today has been a roller coaster of a day. It started out well. I woke up with the sun. A brand new "Regis and Kelly" was on the television, with a brand new host chat with Martin Short sitting in for Regis. The weekend was full of events to report to V. Friday night there was phone drama with the G, the leprechaun ex. Went out to dinner with the roomates. Last night, I went on a date with the astrophysicist and so had much fun. My computer that was under the weather was fixed and happy. Yes, it was going to be a smashing Monday morning.

But as soon as I walked in the door, my advisor barraged me with a million questions. We were collaborating with another lab and he wanted me to go down and give them something to start the experiment. Unfortunately, in his haste he did not realize that the other lab had no idea what he was talking about, and basically I looked like an ass. Oh well.

The day hit a high point when I sent an e-mail to the astrophysicist and he e-mailed back almost immediately. Sigh.(Guess boys are not all bad.)

Then I went to tell my boss something. He started to talk nonsense so I just walked away. Then he said "What is wrong, ET#1?" I stopped at the door and thought about it for a while. I closed his office door, so no one would hear me from the outside, and said "Do you really want to know?" He went to tell me what a disappoinment I was, how his heart was broken because the chinese postdoc was crying in his office, but he had no choice but to fire him and that was my fault. He told me how every other student was more competent than I, and on and on and on. In turn, I told him that he was freaking out, and was the most uninspiring leader, that his apathy towards my project over the years was disappointing, that it was his fault that 4 postdocs came through this lab without a single publication, that he was not my responsibility I was his. Yes, there were harsh words exchanged, and nothing got accomplished.

Once again I was sad, and then I got yet another e-mail from the astrophysicist. It read "Are you having a good day? Did the french fries help?" (I had given up french fries for lent and he bought me some Sunday night.) The answer was yes. The french fries, the e-mails, and memories of the date helped make my day better.

Later, I went shopping with A. She was breaking her lent and I was happy to go to the basement with her. We tried on many dresses and chatted over dinner. She thought it was funny that in a week I already had so many things to report to her. She wanted to know what I would say to the astrophysicist next.

I didn't know. What was I to do? We really don't know each other very well. How much crazy do you let out? Does it come out in increments? How long do you wait? It would be unwise to e-mail him and tell him how much better he made my day, but I kind of want to. Yes, I will listen to the sassy Carla from "Scrubs" for now, but I can't hide the insane me forever....