Y chromosome "why's"

As humans, we are gifted with an oversized cerebrum that gives us powers such as cognition, inductive reasoning, and logic. So why is it that all these abilities go out the window in intergender relationships? Being a woman of logic, I am perplexed by the actions of those carrying a Y chromosome. Of course, not all men are bad apples, it is just the majority of them seem to lack good communications skills. Men, like most things in nature, are probably normally distributed:

So below are some questions I have for the majority of men. I ask in hopes of skewing the curve to the right. (While I have included my own opinions, I do not represent the sentiments of all women.)

1) Why can't men commit to a plan? For instance, if it is Monday and you ask a guy to a Friday night party(in a non-date setting), why will he answer "I'll try to go, but I cannot promise anything."

- We aren't asking for marriage, we just would like to organize our week. If something better comes up, you can back out then. Not committing does not avoid hurt feelings. It does, however, guarantee that we will be pissed that you are indecisive.

2) Why do men alter who they are when in a relationship?

- Men can isolate themselves from friends, and immerse themselves in coupledom. While we want to see you, we should continue in the activities you participated in before we got together. Don't assume that we desire to spend every waking moment with you.

2b) And why do men complain that their girlfriends are too controlling?

-If you just stood up for yourselves and were less indecisive, we would not have to make all your decisions for you. Control is given not taken.

3) Why do men (no matter how unattractive or how horrific their self esteem may be) think that when an ex/old friend tries to contact them it is only as a booty call or because that she is in love with him?

- Sometimes when a girl says "Hi, how are you doing?", she means "Hi, how are you doing?"

3b) Why do heterosexual men assume that every homosexual man is hitting on them?

-Maybe they are, I cannot speak for the gay world, but I really doubt it. Stop thinking you are all that.

4)Why do men think romance is a big production?

- Amongst ourselves, we do not make that "ahhh" sound when we hear that a man proposed on the Red Sox billboard. We swoon when we a man leaves a love note in our lunch for no special occasion.

5) Why do men think when one woman talks about another woman, she is being catty?

-Listen, men gossip just as much as we do so either both sexes are catty or not. You got to choose.

Here is the root of the problem: most men try to interpret what a woman is saying instead of listening to what she is saying. This act will only complicate life. My theory is that all this miscommunication can be blamed on the dating game. The beginning of relationships, even platonic ones, are filled with deception and intrigue. Both players are trying to look like the less interested one, the cooler one. Making the transition from being guarded to trusting someone and to stop trying to find the hidden meanings to every statement is daunting. Perhaps honesty is not worth it, because you rather believe you are being manipulated, rather than think your less than amazing. Totally understandable.

But try this. Just once, ask for what you want, and take her answer at face value. You may be surprised on how much simpler and enjoyable life will become.