It's just a matter of plane etiquette

Back in the eighties, the plane ride from New York to Los Angeles took about 4 and a half hours. You would board these jumbo DC-10's or 747's that had two aisles and three columns of seating, projected movie screens, an unenclosed smoking section, and attractive stewardesses. When the plane reached its cruising altitude, moving about the plane was a true option as the drink cart never completely obstructed an aisle. Riding a plane was an event, and customers would dress for the occasion in nifty polyester pantsuits and or at least khakis and an izod.

Flash forward 20 years and things have changed. Now, more fuel economic planes make the cross country trip. Space is limited on the plane on the aisles, in the seats, and in the cabin in general. But worst of all the passengers have lost all sense of good manners. I empathize with the fact that air travel can be a hassle with added security, but that in no way explains the complete lack of decorum adopted by the passengers.

As I was boarding flight 189 to LAX, I witnessed a mother and daughter conversing about clothes. What was the daughter going to where to the reception, probably the strappy dress with the gold heels. I understand a girl's need to dress sexy, well actually I do not, because this girl was wearing one of those coordinating sweatsuit outfits with the words "too low" in hot pink letters displayed on her ass. And yes, they were too low as I saw ass crack and she was not even bending. This mooning incident should have been an omen for a not-so-great plane trip.

I sat in my window seat ready for my 6 hour flight to LA. I had my Glamour, mp3 player, a papers to read, and my sandwich (as lunch is no longer served on flights). Sitting next to me was a 10 year old kid and his father was on the aisle. His mother and two sisters were in seats on the other side of the aisle. At first he was kind of spazzing out trying to put on his seat belt and in the process of tightening it managed to smack me in the chest. I thought he would settle down as time rolled along. Through out the flight he rocked back and forth in his chair. He shouted across to his sisters. He got up ran down the aisle. Smacked me a couple more times. Should we pity this poor kid with ADHD? No, because the root of his problems was came out right after take off. As he was spazzing and yelling at his sisters, his mother said, " Malcolm, just sit there and eat your candy." His parents passed him a ziplock bag filled with Jolly ranchers, DumDums, Tootsie rolls, mini Snickers and more.

Now on my way back, the flight was also slightly uncomfortable. I sat next to a man that was so large he could not put the arm rest down. While I grudgingly gave up half of my seat, my problem with him was his constant need to eat pistachios the whole way to Boston. Shells and little pistachio skins flew everywhere.

So this is my plea to anyone out there to please practice some decorum when trapped in a cramped space with strangers for 5-6 hours. Chill out. Bring some tunes. Control your children. Eat quiet self contained foods. And we all will be happy.