Dating. Ugh. I have been dreading it, and with good reason. Unlike Evil Twin #1, who has been telling me that it's fun to date and meet all sorts of men, I am not a fan of first dates. So, I decided to ease back into the dating world, reluctantly agreeing to let a friend set me up on a blind date. I had never been on a blind date before and wasn't quite sure what to expect. Given all the warning signs, I should have been prepared for a train wreck, but naively thought it couldn't be so bad (at a minimum, I'd be able to salvage a half-way decent post out of it). I was in no way ready for how sad/crazy this poor guy would be.
Surefire Ways to Blow A First Date:
1. Send your prospective date a crazy 9 paragraph email (opening with "Greetings and salutations" then misspelling my name) about yourself, noting that you went to private schools your whole life [who cares] and you just got out of a 6 year relationship that ended because you gave your ex-girlfriend an ultimatum to get married [umm...].
2. Failing to grammar check said email. Everyone should know when to use "a" versus "an" and proper subject/verb agreement. Also, one looks forward TO something, not IN something. Signing your email, "Looking forward in meeting you" doesn't make any sense. I am a lawyer. I am unforgiving about that stuff.
3. When making plans to meet, just telling your date where and when to meet instead of phrasing things in a way that makes it clear that you are open to modifying the place/time. Personally, I like to be consulted on some level. I don't like people telling me what to do.
4. During the date:
- mentioning (again) why you broke up with your ex;
- describing yourself repeatedly as a "foodie" and trying to impress me with the places you've "discovered" (along with just about everyone else that reads eater.com);
- telling me that you bought an apartment in Bronxville for the excellent school system because you can't wait to have kids (this is perhaps better saved for a second or third date); and
- sharing that you are barely making your mortgage payments because your company has been cutting back, and you have been forced to take a part time job at Macy's to make ends meet. Then noting that the discount is great!
Honestly, if my friend hadn't set this whole thing in motion weeks ago, I would have bailed. Seeing as she took the time to do so, I felt obligated to at least show up, eat a decent meal and work on my conversation skills. I am tempted to give this guy notes on what to do differently going forward -- at the rate he's going, he's likely to scare off every lady he meets. I feel kind of bad for him.
I guess the upside of going on this date is that it made me feel far more sane and emotionally well adjusted in comparison. It also confirmed that I am right and Evil Twin #1 is wrong -- blind dates aren't for everyone.
