It has often been said (by myself) that I am unruly, odd and loud, due to being the youngest child. My parents were older (close to my age now) when they had me. My sister who is 7 years older, often told stories about her parents, who seemed to not resemble mine at all. Her parents gave her shoulder rides, chased her around the yard, and had weekly zoo trips. Mine were more about Dad's napping because he has lumbego, quiet story time, and golf lessons.
A few years ago, I remember having a serious discussion with my sister. How to take care of our parents as they got older. It was one of those serious moments full of awkward pauses and awkward jokes to alleviate the tension of the moment. My parents' had living wills in place, my sister was planning on building a mother-in-law apartment in her house, and I took over some of my parent's accounts just to make sure nothing too crazy was happening. It was a very adult and somber moment in our lives.
A few years ago, my Dad was diagnosed with chronic kidney disease. He had a long history of hypertension and 70 years after birth his kidneys decided they were tired. The physicians told us there was little that could be done. None one in his immediate family was a compatible match and he was a little too old to be on the top of any organ donor list. We were told he had about 5 years. Probably, the hardest hit was my mother. She was registered nurse before she retired and took over my dad's care. But it was exhausting, and she is no spring chicken. My sister and I tried to hire a part time nurse, but they would not have it. The whole thing was spiralling. I even thought about taking a job in California, just to monitor the situation. My sister with three kids of her own, was getting overwhelmed.
I flew home for the Christmas holidays my tradition over the past 21 years. As soon as I walked into my sister's house it was chaos, kids climbing on top of me, my parents asking me about my love life, my brother-in-law asking me about work. I'll admit, I was feeling a little Grinchy. After arriving to California at 11pm, My nieces and nephew woke me up Christmas morning at 5:30am. Yup, this Emo (aunt in korean) was one grumpy grumpster.
My dad was not much better. He also was woken up by jumping children. He could not eat my mom's chocolate b-day cake (too much phosphorus) and most importantly, he had not had a good bowel movement in two days because my youngest niece likes to follow him around and stand outside of the bathroom door saying "uh oh."
Anyway, the next morning my parents left pretty early in the morning. I decided to stay, my present to my sister being watching her kids for a few days. But we got this call about an hour later. "Dad, just got a kidney. We have to fly to Kansas City."
It was like all happy made more TV movies rolled up into one. We bought my parents a ticket to Kansas City, and my brother-in-law (BIL) and I drove up to my parents' house. My parents were all a flutter when we saw them. What were the chances of a 74 year old man getting a six point match for a kidney the day after Christmas? Who knows.
On the way to airport, my dad turned to my BIL and said "twenty years, no problem."
