Evil Twin #1 enters Ace Hardware.

Sales Clerk: Can I help you find something today, Ma'am?

ET#1: Yes, I am looking for small pruning shears.

Sales Clerk: Right this way. [He points to a number of shears] What exactly are you trimming? Is it woody or is it green stems?

ET#1: Green. It's a tomato plant.

Sales Clerk: Then just use scissors.

ET#1: I don't own those either.

Sales Clerk: Hmmm. Our scissor collection is pretty laughable but I think a pair of meat shears is pretty all purpose. How about these? How big are the stems?

[ET#1 makes and "o" with her thumb and index finger.]

Sales Clerk: Are you sure you have a tomato plant? That sounds more like cannibis to me?

ET#1: Really? I have yet to have a single tomato this season. My neighbor told me that was because it was too hot this summer. Do the two plant look a lot alike? Do you think Seed Savers would have sent me the wrong seeds?

Sales Clerk: Yeah. They look a lot a like, but I'm sure you have the right plant. Worst comes to worst you can always start a side business. haha.

ET#1 gives a disapproving look. She buys one pair of meat shears and hurries home to wiki cannibis.