I really like the song that plays during the latest Old Navy Commercial. I knew that I had heard it somewhere else!
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
The Last Day of Summer
Summer. A season when the heat addles the mind, convinces you to take an extra step to soak up UV rays and skimpy dressing is acceptable. It is difficult writing in this entry, because this summer has been particularly sweet and I am sad to see it end. But like it says in Ecclesiastes....
For the official last day of summer I went to the beach with G and A. The day had the right feel. The morning was cool, perhaps a hint of Autumn, as I walked down to school adorned in a white hoodie, bikini, capri pants, flip flops, and a stuffed brightly colored beach bag. I felt like whistling down the empty street. I set up an experiment in a quiet peaceful lab, when my phone rang. It was A and G on their way.
They greeted me outside in a silver Ford Focus. In a moment of nostalgia, they reminded me of that movie, "the Flamingo Kid." G wore a small hat, like Matt Dillon's signature chapeau, and A just cut her blond hair in a fresh short bob, kind of like Janet Jones.
Road trip!
In the tradition of all great road trips, we got lost. We circled around a few times, made a few U-turns, and then decided to alter our plan and go to Crane's Beach. Having gotten there when it was overcast and 10am meant the parking lot was fairly empty. All the concession stands were closed. Summer was over according to the State of Massachusetts.
We found a spot on the squishy white sand. All three of us laid down to read our respective books. Actually come to think of it, the books we read reflected who we were quite well. I read a biography titled "Rosalind Franklin: the dark lady of DNA," A had her New Yorker open, and G was reading "Reading Comics."
I got tired of my book. The sun finally burnt through the clouds. I stripped to my swim suit, and tuned into a podcast of "Bill Moyer's Journal." It was a little depressing and so I switched to David Sedaris reading a chapter from "Naked." Somehow, when I emerged from my book slash podcast haze time and leap frogged foward to 12:30pm. Maybe I would venture into the water. Hmmmm... water at 65 degrees Fahrenheit perhaps it was better I stay on the sunny sand.
On occasion, G and A would share a playful couple's moment. Just like the Flamingo Kid.
We decided to wrap things up after my stomach's rumblings made themselves apparent. Next to the beach was a apple farm. Although we had no desire to pick apples, that did not mean we could not buy apples. I bought half a dozen apple cider doughnuts. I told the lady next to me that we planned to get fried clams and french fries right after the doughnuts. The woman winked and said "the Ipswich trifecta."
So after doughnuts, we stopped by the Clam Box and ate whole bellied clams, onion rings, and french fries. The mound of fried goodness overflowed the paper plate. On any other day I would say it was a fry-o-later overload, but for the last day of summer it was a perfect golden ending.
For the official last day of summer I went to the beach with G and A. The day had the right feel. The morning was cool, perhaps a hint of Autumn, as I walked down to school adorned in a white hoodie, bikini, capri pants, flip flops, and a stuffed brightly colored beach bag. I felt like whistling down the empty street. I set up an experiment in a quiet peaceful lab, when my phone rang. It was A and G on their way.
They greeted me outside in a silver Ford Focus. In a moment of nostalgia, they reminded me of that movie, "the Flamingo Kid." G wore a small hat, like Matt Dillon's signature chapeau, and A just cut her blond hair in a fresh short bob, kind of like Janet Jones.
Road trip!
In the tradition of all great road trips, we got lost. We circled around a few times, made a few U-turns, and then decided to alter our plan and go to Crane's Beach. Having gotten there when it was overcast and 10am meant the parking lot was fairly empty. All the concession stands were closed. Summer was over according to the State of Massachusetts.
We found a spot on the squishy white sand. All three of us laid down to read our respective books. Actually come to think of it, the books we read reflected who we were quite well. I read a biography titled "Rosalind Franklin: the dark lady of DNA," A had her New Yorker open, and G was reading "Reading Comics."
I got tired of my book. The sun finally burnt through the clouds. I stripped to my swim suit, and tuned into a podcast of "Bill Moyer's Journal." It was a little depressing and so I switched to David Sedaris reading a chapter from "Naked." Somehow, when I emerged from my book slash podcast haze time and leap frogged foward to 12:30pm. Maybe I would venture into the water. Hmmmm... water at 65 degrees Fahrenheit perhaps it was better I stay on the sunny sand.
On occasion, G and A would share a playful couple's moment. Just like the Flamingo Kid.
We decided to wrap things up after my stomach's rumblings made themselves apparent. Next to the beach was a apple farm. Although we had no desire to pick apples, that did not mean we could not buy apples. I bought half a dozen apple cider doughnuts. I told the lady next to me that we planned to get fried clams and french fries right after the doughnuts. The woman winked and said "the Ipswich trifecta."
So after doughnuts, we stopped by the Clam Box and ate whole bellied clams, onion rings, and french fries. The mound of fried goodness overflowed the paper plate. On any other day I would say it was a fry-o-later overload, but for the last day of summer it was a perfect golden ending.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Define: hottie
News a la CNN.com:
"Men want hot women, study confirms"
I am a great ...ahem...dare I say... student of the bar scene. From time to time, I like to share the wisdom I have gleaned from my forays to dating jungle.
My friend, AS is, for lack of a better term, a gigolo. He is also my friend and my wingman for the bar scene. We are comfortable scouting out a room for babes and studs and if things are not good, we are just as happy to chat with each other. We went to a Boston hotspot called 28 degrees. While waiting for the dinner crowd to leave, I mentioned the study about men choosing hot women, but leaving out what I thought was the most important fact. What does a man find physically attractive?
I have distilled the attractiveness factor to a point system. While many men of 28 degrees was interviewed for this survey remember the samples was mostly white New Englander's ranging from 25-42 in age.
Anything above zero is worth pursuing.
Long hair (+2pts) - Long hair is defined as anything past shoulder length and shorter than mid back. If the hair can reach a woman's ass, she then is put into the hippie category.
Overweight (-5pts) - The good news is that most men think of weight as a dichotomous variable. Women are either skinny or fat. The nuance between a size 2 and a 6 is lost on them.
Make-up (+4pts) - In a darkly lit bar, AS tried to convince me that a woman who was clearly in her 40s was in her 30s and one who was clearly in her late 30s as 50. The difference was the color palette the women used. Pinks are considered young. (A lot of foundation seemed to fool him too.) Also, anyone wearing mascara, eyeliner, or eyeshadow is considered to have make-up on. Lipgloss, rouge, and foundation is not noticed.
Asian (+2pts) - Unfortunately, it is also accompanied with the notion that Asian women are quiet, docile, sweet and incredibly kinky in the sack.
Blonde (+2pts) - Maybe that is why they have more fun.
Grumpy expression (-2pts) - While a smile is not a guarantee, a frown is definite turn-off unless the woman is being hit on by another dude.
Breasts (+5pts) - Self explanatory.
Height (-4pts) - Unless the guy is super short, the general rule is that he will only hit on girls that are shorter than he is.
Perfume (+1pt) - Pheromones be damned. Men like sweet scents like vanilla and other stuff that I would never go near.
Tactile fabrics (+1pt) - Don't know if this is just an excuse to touch a woman, but if she is wearing some thing particularly soft, crinkly, or rough she will be petted often.
Youth (+2pts) - There is a reason porn sites labeled "barely legal" are popular. However, most men's eyesight are not very keen. Please refer back to make-up.
As much as I would like to make a list of what women find attractive, I cannot. There was no consensus on anything so this was the only list I could make.
Good luck all you women and men out there. Remember all this information is not meant for long lasting relations. To be used for evil purposes only.
"Men want hot women, study confirms"
I am a great ...ahem...dare I say... student of the bar scene. From time to time, I like to share the wisdom I have gleaned from my forays to dating jungle.
My friend, AS is, for lack of a better term, a gigolo. He is also my friend and my wingman for the bar scene. We are comfortable scouting out a room for babes and studs and if things are not good, we are just as happy to chat with each other. We went to a Boston hotspot called 28 degrees. While waiting for the dinner crowd to leave, I mentioned the study about men choosing hot women, but leaving out what I thought was the most important fact. What does a man find physically attractive?
I have distilled the attractiveness factor to a point system. While many men of 28 degrees was interviewed for this survey remember the samples was mostly white New Englander's ranging from 25-42 in age.
Anything above zero is worth pursuing.
Long hair (+2pts) - Long hair is defined as anything past shoulder length and shorter than mid back. If the hair can reach a woman's ass, she then is put into the hippie category.
Overweight (-5pts) - The good news is that most men think of weight as a dichotomous variable. Women are either skinny or fat. The nuance between a size 2 and a 6 is lost on them.
Make-up (+4pts) - In a darkly lit bar, AS tried to convince me that a woman who was clearly in her 40s was in her 30s and one who was clearly in her late 30s as 50. The difference was the color palette the women used. Pinks are considered young. (A lot of foundation seemed to fool him too.) Also, anyone wearing mascara, eyeliner, or eyeshadow is considered to have make-up on. Lipgloss, rouge, and foundation is not noticed.
Asian (+2pts) - Unfortunately, it is also accompanied with the notion that Asian women are quiet, docile, sweet and incredibly kinky in the sack.
Blonde (+2pts) - Maybe that is why they have more fun.
Grumpy expression (-2pts) - While a smile is not a guarantee, a frown is definite turn-off unless the woman is being hit on by another dude.
Breasts (+5pts) - Self explanatory.
Height (-4pts) - Unless the guy is super short, the general rule is that he will only hit on girls that are shorter than he is.
Perfume (+1pt) - Pheromones be damned. Men like sweet scents like vanilla and other stuff that I would never go near.
Tactile fabrics (+1pt) - Don't know if this is just an excuse to touch a woman, but if she is wearing some thing particularly soft, crinkly, or rough she will be petted often.
Youth (+2pts) - There is a reason porn sites labeled "barely legal" are popular. However, most men's eyesight are not very keen. Please refer back to make-up.
As much as I would like to make a list of what women find attractive, I cannot. There was no consensus on anything so this was the only list I could make.
Good luck all you women and men out there. Remember all this information is not meant for long lasting relations. To be used for evil purposes only.
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